i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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