i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
