"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
