my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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