S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
