I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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