At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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