I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
