i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
