He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
