doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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