i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
