I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
