How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
