Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
