then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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