i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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