Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
