He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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