just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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