You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You made out with two different species that night
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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