My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
