Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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