office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
