HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
