i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
someone owes me an orgasm
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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