Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
