you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
