How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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