K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
