it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
