Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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