If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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