PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
