So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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