Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
