We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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