dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
