its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
