hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
