He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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