i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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