Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
