somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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