you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
