im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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