He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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