Soap is not a condiment
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
