i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
