what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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