just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
