Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
