Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
