i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
