you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
